Good or Bad Good and Bad Funny
165 Jokes So Bad They're Actually Funny
What do y'all phone call a can opener that doesn't piece of work? A tin can't opener.
Sometimes a bad joke is but that: a bad joke. Merely some jokes are and so jaw-droppingly ridiculous that they transcend their own awfulness to attain a higher plane of funny. Attempt as you may not to laugh, we're all, on some level, powerless to jokes that revel in their own blench-iness. To prove information technology, we've rounded up 165 of our favorite bad jokes. And we're talking jokes so bad they come full circle into existence actually hilarious.
Bad Dad Jokes
- Why was the math teacher belatedly to piece of work? She took the rhombus.
- I'1000 really excited for the next autopsy club. It'south open up Mike nighttime!
- Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
- What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."
- My daughter thinks I don't give her enough privacy. At least that'south what she wrote in her diary.
- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
- Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make upwards everything.
- I'd similar to get to The netherlands anytime. Wooden shoe?
- The guy that invented the umbrella was gonna call information technology the brella. Merely he hesitated.
- Fun fact: Commonwealth of australia'southward biggest export is boomerangs. It'due south as well their biggest import.
- What kind of car runs on leaves? An autumn-mobile!
- I tried to organize a professional Hibernate-and-Seek tournament, but it was a consummate failure. Adept players are hard to find.
- Before the invention of the wheel… everything was a drag!
- What practise yous phone call it when Dwayne Johnson buys a cutting tool? Rock pay-for scissors.
- What do you call a hippie'southward married woman? A Mississippi!
- What did the duck say when she bought a lipstick? Put it on my neb!
- What do you lot call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
- What do yous requite to a sick lemon? Lemon assistance!
- What did the little mount say to the bigger mountain? Hi Cliff!
- Why are at that place gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to make it!
- What exercise you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef!
- What do bees do if they need a ride? Wait at the buzz stop!
- What do yous call a monkey that loves Doritos? A chipmunk!
- Why did the can crusher quit his chore? Because it was soda pressing!
- Practice y'all retrieve that joke I told you about my spine? It was about a weak back!
- I just went to an emotional nuptials. Even the cake was in tiers.
- When's the best time to become to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie!
- Why exercise seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they're bagels!
- What exercise you call a farm that makes bad jokes? Corny!
- Why do fish live in salt h2o? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
- What kind of streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends!
- What exercise you lot tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
- What kind of dogs love car racing? Lap dogs!
- What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent? "Testify me the beloved!"
- What do you telephone call birds who stick together? Vel-crows.
- Today I gave my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.
- What practice you call it when i cow spies on another? A steak out!
- What happens when a frog'south car breaks downwards? Information technology gets toad!
- What's the best affair about Switzerland? I don't know, but its flag is a big plus!
- My favorite discussion is "drool." It just rolls off the tongue.
- Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
- I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
- What does a zombie vegetarian swallow? "Graaaaaaaains!"
- My new thesaurus is terrible. Non just that, it'south also terrible.
- What did the coating say as it cruel off the bed? "Oh sheet!"
- Why do moo-cow-milking stools merely accept three legs? 'Cause the moo-cow's got the udder!
- How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents.
- What'southward the last matter that goes through a bug's mind when information technology hits a windshield? Its butt.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"
- Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass defoliation!
- It'south inappropriate to brand a "dad joke" if yous are non a dad. It's a faux pa.
- What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Robin, get in the car."
- I have an addiction to cheddar cheese. But it's only mild.
- Why shouldn't yous write with a broken pencil? Because it'southward pointless!
- Why did the scarecrow win an honour? He was outstanding in his field.
- What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison!
- I was sitting in traffic the other twenty-four hours. Probably why I got run over.
- What'due south carmine and shaped similar a bucket? A blue bucket painted red.
- What don't ants go sick? They accept anty-bodies.
- What do you phone call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
- Why do yous smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
- When is your door not actually a door? When it's ajar.
- What'southward green, fuzzy, and would hurt if it fell on you lot out of a tree? A pool table.
- A communist joke isn't funny unless everyone gets it.
- What did ane dish say to the other? Dinner is on me!
- What does a business firm wear? Address!
- Why can't y'all hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Considering the pee is silent.
- Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk virtually Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
- What do yous call someone who immigrated to Sweden? Artificial Swedener.
- Have y'all heard the one about the corduroy pillow? It'due south making headlines.
- What'southward the dumbest animate being in the jungle? A polar behave!
- I'm thinking about removing my spine. I experience like it's just belongings me back.
- Did you hear near the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
- I'k terrified of elevators and so I'one thousand going to first taking steps to avoid them.
- Have y'all heard of the band 923 Megabytes? Probably not, they oasis't had a gig yet.
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ReallyBad Jokes
- Where do mansplainers get their water? From a well, really.
- Why are social media influencers afraid when they go to the woods alone at dark? They're constantly being followed.
- I volition never sympathise why manslaughter is illegal. Men should exist able to express joy at any they desire.
- What did the green grape say to the purple grape? "Breathe, damn it! Breathe!"
- I put my root beer into a square glass. Now it'south but beer.
- They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket. They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
- Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than five moves. Finally my high schoolhouse karate lessons came to some utilize.
- I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
- I went on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Never once again.
- My grandfather has the eye of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
- What's greenish and has wheels? Grass. I lied well-nigh the wheels.
- Sometimes I tuck my knees into my breast and lean forward. That'due south just how I roll.
- I similar to spend every day as if it's my last. Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding.
- I got fired from my chore at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
- I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'grand going domicile for the hollandaise.
- My dad's respond to everything is alcohol. He doesn't beverage, information technology'southward merely that he'due south actually bad at crossword puzzles.
- Where did the calculator become dancing? The disc-o!
- What do you call a dangerous lord's day shower? A rain of terror!
- I used to hate facial hair but and then it grew on me.
- What'south the departure between a dirty bus finish and a lobster with chest implants? One is a crusty motorcoach station and the other is a busty crustacean.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus express joy? X tickles.
- I used to be fond to the hokey pokey merely and then I turned myself around.
- Why didn't the astronaut come home to his married woman? He needed his space.
- What's the most terrifying give-and-take in nuclear physics? "Oops!"
- I watched hockey earlier information technology was cool. They were basically pond.
- There'due south no hole in your shoe? So how'd you lot get your foot in it?
- A cowherd counted 48 cows on his property. But when he rounded them up, he had l.
- When the two rabbit ears got married, it was a overnice anniversary. Just the reception wasamazing.
- Why couldn't the wheel stand upwardly? Considering it was too tired.
- A chicken coup only has two doors. If it had four, it would be a craven sedan.
- Three fish are in a tank. One asks the others, "How exercise you drive this affair?"
- Why don't venereal donate? Because they're shellfish.
- What did Blackbeard the pirate say when he turned 80? "Aye, matey."
- How does your feline store? By reading a catalogue.
- It's difficult to teach kleptomaniacs humor. They have things and so literally.
- Sunny-side upwardly, scrambled, or an omelet? It doesn't matter. They're all eggcellent.
- Don't worry if you miss a gym session. Everything will piece of work out.
- Always tried to eat a clock? Information technology's time-consuming.
- Who tin spring higher than a firm? Pretty much anyone.
- What practice an apple tree and an orange have in mutual? Neither one can drive.
- Why did the man of affairs invest in Smith & Wollensky? He wanted to pale his merits.
- Five guys walk into a bar. You think one of them would've seen information technology.
- This sweet ride has iv wheels and flies. It's a garbage truck.
- How many bugs do yous need to rent out an apartment? 10-ants.
- I want to become camping every year. That trip was then in tents.
- Wait, you don't want to hear a joke about potassium? M.
- How do y'all organize a space-themed hurrah? Y'all planet.
- Your ex. That'due south the punchline.
- How do yous feel when in that location's no java? Depresso.
- I broke my arm in 2 places. You know what the doctor told me? "Stay out of those places!"
- What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.
- Where did the king keep his armies? Upwardly his sleevies.
- What are the biggest enemies of caterpillars? Dogerpillers.
- What do you call an empty tin can of Cheese Whiz? Cheese Was.
- What did Mario say when he broke upward with Princess Peach? "It'southward non you, information technology's a-me!"
- What's the award for existence best dentist? A lilliputian plaque.
- What did the finger say to the thumb? I'thousand in glove with you.
- What practice you call a magician dog? A labracadabrador.
- What concert costs only 45 cents? 50 Cent and Nickelback.
- What do sprinters consume before a race? Nothing, they fast.
- Who invented the round table? Sir Cumference.
- What exercise yous phone call the security guards outside of Samsung? The guardians of the Galaxy.
- There are three types of people in the world. Those of the states who are good at math and those of us who aren't.
- What audio does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew!
- Why practice ghosts love elevators? Because information technology lifts their spirits.
- What's the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle.
- Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots? He was picking his nose.
- What practice you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
- How tin you lot brand vii an even number? Only take away the "s"!
- What did the lawyer vesture to court? A lawsuit!
- What do you call HIJKLMNO? H20!
- How do yous notice Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the fresh prints!
- What did the clock do when information technology was hungry? It went back four seconds.
- What practise you telephone call a dog with no legs? You can phone call him whatever you want, he'south even so non coming.
- I still retrieve the concluding thing my grandfather said earlier kicking the bucket: "Hey, you want to see how far I tin kicking this saucepan?"
- What exercise you lot call a can opener that doesn't work? A tin can't opener.
- Why did the human being get fired from his job at the calendar mill? He took a couple days off!
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Considering he always gets a hole in 1!
- Did you hear near the kidnapping at school? Information technology'south fine, he eventually woke up!
- What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep? Well, now, all of them.
- Why did the teacher love the whiteboard? She just idea it was remarkable!
- A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orangish." So I replied, "No information technology doesn't."
- If y'all're American when yous get in the bath and American when yous come up out, what are you in the bathroom? European!
- What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
- Why tin't a nose exist 12 inches long? Because and then it'd be a foot.
- Did you hear the rumor about butter? Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
- What did the drummer telephone call his ii twin daughters? Anna ane, Anna two.
- I'g not a big fan of stairs. They're ever upwardly to something.
- What do you call a boomerang that never comes back? A stick.
- What to hear a joke about newspaper? Never listen, information technology'due south tearable.
Source: https://bestlifeonline.com/actually-funny-bad-jokes/
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